Wednesday, January 26, 2011

On Jamaica

Pretty image via
I realized after I posted yesterday that I haven't shared anything else about my trip to Jamaica with you dudes. If you get the chance, you should go there. Here are a few reasons why:
  • They give you rum. Lots and lots of rum.
  • You can win even more rum. It's given out as a prize.
  • I may be misremembering, but I think the winner of the kid's volleyball tournament got rum.
  • The entertainment provided by the resort was terrifically bad. 
    • The first night we went to the show (the second night there) was the all-Jamaican cast's rendition of scenes from Grease. The guy playing Danny Zuko had a very limited command of a) his lines and b) English.
    • They had a Lavar Burton look-alike MCing everything.
    • They had a dance contest one night. An eight-year-old girl performed a dance called the dirty wine. Lavar told her, "You need Jesus."
  • If it rained, we went inside and watched part of National Treasure, which was always on tv.
  • I won some rum. And they gave us two bottles of rum in our room, with a coconut with the top lopped off, for being newlyweds.
  • The food was pretty good for being buffet-style. Andy particularly liked that there was a jerk chicken hut on the beach. I particularly liked that there was a bar on the beach.
  • We didn't know the names of any of the staff, so we nicknamed them. We were particularly fond of Sideburns, Bossy, and Crazy Thumbs Murphy.
  •  There was enough to do at or through the resort that we didn't feel weird about not leaving much. We went parasailing and snorkeling and on a sunset cruise thing, which involved a pirate hideout which is now a bar.
In the interest of full disclosure, I can tell you that the good people of RIU resorts do not know who I am, and that we paid them a lot of money to hang out there and drink their rum. I'll also add that Andy has an aunt who's a travel agent, so we could afford a decent trip.

Have you ever been to Jamaica? Was it awesome? If not, where else have you been that you think I'd like?


  1. Jamaica sounds great, but do they have any rum there?

  2. True story: I read that when I was half asleep, and I thought, "I'm pretty sure I mentioned the rum. Didn't I? I think I did."

    Then I realized you were kidding, and laughed out loud at myself. I'm not at my best in the morning.

    And yes, there was rum.