Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A semi-open letter

The evil.
Dear good people of St. Ives,

I just wanted to write a quick note to tell you how much I love one of your products: the Intensive Healing hand cream. In particular, I have the version shown here, but mine is in English. I have used this stuff for years, always with great results. The smell is nice, but not overpowering, which I love. The formula is rich enough to feel luxurious, but sinks in readily without leaving my hands greasy. I can use it at work, when I have my hands all over papers all day, or even right before knitting without worrying about what it might do to my yarn.

So as you can imagine, I was pretty happy to find Intensive Healing lotion, which I'd only ever seen in two-ounce containers, for sale in a huge twenty-four-ounce pump bottle! I got this one. I brought it to work, where I had plans to go through it pretty quickly.

Imagine my dismay when I realized that they are not the same goddamn lotion. The stuff in the big bottle is greasier and goopier and smells, for some reason, exactly like a Red-Hot candy (you know, the gross tiny cinnamon ones that no one actually eats but that your mom uses on her Christmas cookies) instead of like pretty flowers or whatever. So now I'm stuck with a huge bottle of lotion I don't particularly like, and also I'm nervous to buy a new small tube of the stuff, because what if you changed all of it and it's not really two different formulas, it's that I just have some of the last of the good stuff?

What am I supposed to do now, St. Ives? What the hell am I supposed to do now?


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