Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Quick court and house updates

1. Court. Nothing changed, really. The dad's new lawyer argued for extending the dad's visits, which the judge approved. So now instead of the very bare minimum (one-hour supervised visits two times a week), he's got one step up (two-hour supervised visits two times a week). The worker is switching the time back to mornings to make it easier on M. They haven't filed the termination paperwork yet and probably won't for another month or so (UGH). M's mom was delighted to see pictures of M and says she's back on track and trying to start visits and wants to really try to get M back. I told her that we are so happy to hear she's doing well and hope she continues to do so, and that if she doesn't feel that it's successful we want her to be part of M's life if she stays with us. I worded it more nicely, though. Oh, and according to the dad he only sees his new baby when the mom's in town, which I'm guessing means that he doesn't see her at all. Why can't he go after that kid instead of M??

2. The seller of our house didn't agree to give us any money for the garage issues but we're buying it anyway. We'll be closing in early September. Which is great, because it's been two and a half weeks with my folks and we're starting to feel that friction that comes with too much time in close proximity - nothing serious, just little annoyances. It's a big relief to me to have a finish line in sight. Also I've been watching a lot of HGTV while I'm nursing or pumping, to get ideas and because I haven't had cable in years and holy shit, there's a lot of garbage on tv.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Oops, forgot I had a blog.

Hello, hello! I forgot I had a blog for a minute there. We've been happily learning how to be a family of four, plus also we sold our house and moved in with my parents. You know. No big deal. Life as usual.

This baby is still awesome and I'm still loving every second with her. She has outgrown her newborn-sized clothes and it amazes me that my body is responsible not just for growing her but also for every single ounce and inch she's gained since birth. That's some primal mammalian shit right there. Breastfeeding is not bad for me, praise Yeezus, except when she decides to eat every hour on the hour all day and then it's RIP, nipples, for a day or two. I'm off work this week and two more weeks and I pretty much want to hold her every minute of those weeks. She's five weeks old and grins delightedly when you talk to her, so you'd be doing the same thing if you were me.

Fun housing thing: back at the beginning of June we put in a low offer on a house that hit pretty much everything on our "YES!" list but that had a few quirks. Well, to be brief, after a lot of back-and-forth where they tried to get us to give them more money and we kept saying "No, really, that's our best offer. You can say no it it, but we don't have more money than that.", they finally got desperate and accepted the offer as it was originally written. WHAT? But then we had the inspection yesterday, and it uncovered some structural issues in the detached garage, plus confirmed that yeah, buying a house that was built in 1850 will mean we'll eventually be putting out money for upgrading shit like plumbing. So we're waiting to see if the seller will give us money for the garage and then deciding if we buy the house with the 100% perfect location and a bunch of weird small-to-large issues, or if we walk away and start the search all over. Because you all know how much I love uncertainty! It's so much fun!

Speaking of uncertainty! We have court for M tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the paperwork for termination of parental rights hasn't been filed yet, so nothing will happen. Just kidding, even if that's been filed, I'm pretty sure nothing will happen tomorrow. I'll be bringing Nora with me to court, so the classy people being served by our county's Family Court will possibly be getting a glimpse of my nipples. So for once maybe I'll be the spectacle in that waiting room, instead of the yokels yelling about felonies or the teenage girl in a tiara and sweatpants and socks but no shoes. (I love the Family Court waiting room a real lot, you guys. No joke.)

M is still dealing with all the changes in her life pretty well. In the space of a month and a half, she got a new sister, moved in with her grandparents, and moved from the baby room to the toddler room at daycare. She is coping so much better than we could have hoped. Slightly more meltdowns than normal, but nothing too crazy. The only thing that has surprised me is that she's decided she is scared of the bathtubs here. We've tried the big whirlpool tub (she loved the one at my sister's), but even with me in there with her it was a no. We also tried the super-fancy light blue tub in the bathroom with the matching light blue toilet, sinks, and wall and floor tiles (thanks, 1960s!) and that was also deemed too scary. So she's been getting a lot of scrubdowns with soapy washcloths while we work on getting more comfortable with the tubs. It makes me sad to see my confident brave girl so scared, but I know it's mostly just a reaction to so much change. Poor sweet kid.

I'll try to update soon with results from court!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Oh hello, hormones!

Watching The Jeff Probst Show - I didn't know that was a thing until yesterday, and I don't actually know who Jeff Probst is except that he has a talk show (is he famous?) - and some dude just proposed to his girlfriend in a totally cheesy way and I still teared up. THANKS, 'MONES!

We're all still doing well over here. Hormones are fun, because they seem to basically amplify whatever I'm feeling. Tuesday was my first day with just me and the baby (Andy back to work, M to daycare), and I missed Andy and M so much all day. I actually had to drop something off at daycare for M and she cried for me when I left and I sat in my car crying for about five minutes before I could pull it together enough to drive home (she had a visit that afternoon and she gets picked up from daycare and I couldn't deal with the logistics of switching that, so bringing her home with me wasn't a great option). I'm having a much harder time not knowing what's going on with her future, and I want her around a lot. I mean, not enough to keep her home from daycare, because girl is ENERGETIC and I'm still exhausted and recovering from shooting a human out of me, but I miss her more and stuff, and I find myself wanting to snuggle her out of every little toddler freakout. She doesn't think that's a great idea, because she's only ever been interested in snuggling when it's on her terms, but it doesn't keep me from trying.

Oh, I talked to our new worker yesterday and she told me they've finally started the paperwork to terminate M's parents' rights, but that she thinks it's very likely that the dad will get a suspended judgment (basically, an extra year to get his shit together, subject to specific conditions). Her dad's been very consistent with his visits for May and June, but two months out of 17 isn't enough to convince me that he is really invested in M. Plus, you know, hormones, so I'm freaking about losing her and all. We have a service plan review next week and then a court hearing in three weeks, so I have LOTS OF FEELINGS.

Nora is still awesome and is growing fast. M was formula-fed, of course, so it's weird to not know exactly how much Nora's eating at a time. She gained almost a pound in a week, so it looks like we're doing fine!