I don't mean to brag, but...

Thinking about ordering one of these

...depending where on the bathroom floor I place the scale, I have lost between five and ten pounds.

Obviously, I am certain the tile that makes me lightest is the right one.

I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. On the contrary, I'm inviting you to laugh at me. Here's how that goes:

I've lost the weight by modifying portion sizes. Over the last three years, somehow, Andy and I started serving us equal portions of food. I don't need as much food as he does, as he's more than a foot taller than me, so naturally this didn't work out so hot for me. In addition to being more active, I've trained myself to eat reasonable portions for someone who's five feet tall. In part I did this by reading portion sizes, but mostly I did it by thinking about the fact that the adult human stomach is roughly the size of a closed fist, and can comfortably expand to hold 1.5 liters. So my goal was to not put more than that in there. It's working okay, as evidenced by my loss of five to ten pounds.

The problem, and the part where you get to laugh at me, is that when I eat more than I'm used to eating now, I feel crappy for, like, three hours until I digest some of it.  So I hung out with a friend today and had a frozen blended drink thing from Gloria Jean's, which was delicious, then our menfolk joined us and we all got dinner, and I ate more than I usually do. So now I'm uncomfortable and have indigestion because I overate. Not awesome.

This post is a decent example of how un-exciting my daily life is.