Monday, September 19, 2011

Three ways in which I am awkward

1. Any time I get new glasses, I feel sort of like I'm wearing a costume for the first few weeks. Like, I got these glasses a few months ago and I'm still a little weird about wearing them with big earrings - which, since I have really short hair, are sort of my go-to accessory. I am getting a haircut tonight and am planning to wear my contacts so I can see what the hell is going on, but also so I don't have to talk to anyone there about my new glasses, because they haven't seen them and my old boss there is kind of a bitch, so she'd flat-out tell me if she thought they looked stupid or too hipster-y (I mean, they sort of are) and I just don't want to have to deal with that.

2. Also haircut-related: I used to dye my hair. A lot. And I had a mohawk as recently as a few months ago. But right now it's seriously such a boring, plain-jane cut, in my natural color, that I feel like a soccer mom a little bit. But I'm scared to do anything crazy to it, because of the foster stuff. I know I can always dye over it (probably, depending on what I do to it), or style it so it's not really obvious if it's a hawk, but I still feel like I have to defend myself to people when I look "different." And it doesn't really feel "worth it" to dye it a normal color (I actually have a box of black dye in my cupboard) and deal with upkeep and stuff, because I've always dyed my hair for fun, not to convince people my hair was supposed to be that color. I OVERTHINK THINGS, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

3. Also overthinking-related: my mom and sister are throwing me and Andy a foster-stuff shower. Which is so freaking awesome and will give all the friends who keep saying "How can we help?" a specific way to help, and it will save us a ton of money. But I really like being the center of attention on my terms: because I am a self-absorbed extrovert who thinks she's funny. I don't really like birthday parties, when everyone stares at me while I open shit, and my parents actually had to talk me into having a graduation party by reminding me that I was paying for college myself and that people would give me money. I don't want people to feel like they have to come to this shower, or like they have to get us something, or that we don't want hand-me-downs or whatever. But my sister is mailing the invites (which look freaking great), so she needed me to get her some addresses. I sent out the most awkward email ever to my work friends, telling them they don't have to come, but I like them and it would be cool to hang out, and there will be cupcakes, and they don't have to bring anything, if they come at all, and stuff. I can't ever just be like, Hey, there's this shower, you'll get an invite, come if you want! I have to explain everything. Oh, and I've decided that it will be a good idea to use all-natural slash organic stuff for the kids, but instead of just putting "All-natural or organic baby shampoo, lotions, etc." on our wish list, I had to justify it with a note about how it won't hurt to limit their exposure to chemicals or whatever, so people don't think I'm getting uppity or whatever.

I'm such a goddamn weirdo.

What overthinking have you been doing lately? Are these reasonable things, or am I Elaine-from-Seinfield-level crazy?

No comments:

Post a Comment