Monday, August 8, 2011

One thing I love and one thing I hate

First,  the thing I love. I never, ever thought I would get along with jeggings. I thought they were the stupidest idea ever. This is partly because I had tried on leggings a few years ago, when they were just starting to be a thing, and they were AWFUL on me. Something about the way I’m put together plus that elastic waist combined to make me look like a bunch of bread dough shoved into mangled sausage casing. Not cute.

I bought some jeggings from Wal-Mart a few years back for part of a Halloween costume, as I wanted black pants that would tuck into the boots I was wearing (I was a pirate, because I know you’re wondering), and the jeggings were the cheapest ones to fit the bill. I did not wear them again after that.

Then, last year for Christmas, Andy got me a pair of these Mossimo jeggings from target. They don’t have an elastic waist – they have an actual button that works, but no zipper. I tried them on, to humor him, and it was like wearing my favorite jeans if they were secretly pajama pants. I was sold. The only problem was, they were black, which limited the number of items I could wear them with. I tried like heck to find them in other colors, checking the Mossimo section any time I stopped in at Target for anything at all, then looking online, then, in desperation, scouring Ebay, all to no avail. They were discontinued, and the only ones left were in bizarre sizes. (Also, I can’t even link to them right now, because they’re “not available online” and Target’s website is among the worst in the developed world.)

Yesterday morning, Andy and I were just hanging out reading the paper,* chatting about this and that, when I suddenly shot up off the couch. The Target ad had my jeggings in it. In blue. We were getting in the car, right now, and going to Target, where I would buy a pair in my size in every color and wash they had. Which I did. I am now the proud owner of three pairs of those beauties, and I’m going to look online to see if they happen to have any of the lightest wash available in my size. If you’re not on the jeggings train yet, try these things out. Thank me later. Move fast, though, as selection was already somewhat picked over at my Target.

(*Note: "reading the paper" in our house means sitting on the couch drinking coffee and looking at the ads.)

And now, to tone down all that happiness: something I hate!

I grew up using ScottTissue brand toilet paper at home and never thought a thing about it. When Andy and I bought our house, he told me, very seriously, that he absolutely loved me, but we were going to buy better toilet paper. I thought he was being weird, like I was when I insisted on a particular brand of toothpaste or whatever, but now I see where he was coming from. We use Cottonelle, which we buy really cheap at Sam’s, like, every eight months, and it’s great.

The fact that I’ve splurged on things I wipe on my business isn’t lost on me, by the way.

So. My company moved, and the new location is in an office part that is cleaned and supplied by an outside company. The owners of the office park are apparently pretty cheap, because the bathrooms are stocked with single-ply toilet paper. Single-ply. Aren’t we civilized human beings? And even worse, it’s poorly made, so it shreds in my hand before I’ve even managed to rip it off the roll. It seems to be made from a new space-age material that disintegrates immediately whenever it comes into contact with moisture, which, I’ll admit, sometimes happens in a bathroom. I don’t want to be that girl who brings her own toilet paper because the free stuff isn’t good enough for her lily-white ass, but I’ve seriously considered it. The only real reason I haven’t (yet) is because I know I’d have to keep it at my desk and I’d manage to forget to carry it down to the bathroom 80% of the time.

What do you love? What do you hate?


  1. Jeggings, huh? Well, I guess I shouldn't knock them until I try them. What about those jean pajamas? Can I hate those?

  2. Ummm brian and i had the same conversation about toilet paper when we moved in together. I wonder how many guys we chased off with our parents' pathetic toilet paper purchases? Why were so many guys using the toilet paper at their girlfriend's parents' house?

  3. I'm telling you, these jeggings won me over. Let's all agree to keep hating the pajama jeans, though, and I'll throw in those diapers printed to look like jeans for good measure. And Kid, Andy and I dated for four years while I lived at home, so at some point in those four years toilet paper was necessary.