Monday, May 16, 2011

Two thoughts on work and one on dogs.

1a. What do you wear to work? My office is what I suppose we'd call "business casual," in that the owner of the company typically wears a button-down and chinos and I have never seen him wearing a tie. Pretty much the only people who wear ties are our outside sales people, but everyone else is an interesting mix. I had a meeting this morning, and in between paying attention I noted that eleven of the twenty-six people were wearing jeans. My boss was wearing flip-flops. I have a work friend (in a different department) who wears jeans every single day. I have a hard time trying to decide how to work this whole thing. I wear dark-rinse, dressy-ish jeans once or twice during the week and more casual jeans on Fridays, but I also have been known to dress the hell up and wear things like sequined dresses and heels on a Tuesday.  If you're supposed to "dress for the job you want" but your boss's boss wears cargo pants, and they aren't flattering on you, what then?

1b. Warning: bathroom-related discussion ahead. There really isn't a polite way to bring this up, so here goes: Sometimes it smells like poop at my desk. I sit close to a bathroom, and I have coworkers who have no problem taking care of bodily business at work. One person went so far as to bring in Oust spray to leave in the bathroom. Now, I understand that people poop. Everybody poops - in fact, they wrote a book about that. But I seriously disagree with people blowing up the bathroom so bad that I have to use my shirt as an air filter, and I have an even bigger problem with people spraying twenty-second bursts of toxic phthalates into my air. Coworkers of mine complained and we got the cleaning people to stock Method-brand air freshener instead, but that product was discontinued, and every time the Oust is removed from the bathroom, Madam Poops-A-Lot replaces it.

I'm not saying people shouldn't poop at work. I'm saying that if you get to work at 8:15 and have destroyed the air quality up to four cubicles away from the bathroom by 8:40, maybe you should examine your diet. Because I'm really grossed out by it. Our company is moving to a new building next month, and as much as it will be a giant pain to have to leave our part of the building to use the public bathroom (and to have to use our official swipe card to get back in, every single time), I'm really excited about not having to smell poop or cancer-causing chemicals several times a day.

2. I have somehow managed to pick not one but TWO dogs who don't really understand the idea of "fetch." Both dogs get really excited about having toys thrown and about bringing them back towards the thrower, but neither Rooster nor Pancakes have a single fuck about tennis balls or frisbees, and neither will fetch more than twice while outdoors. That means that any and all games of fetch (and remember, Pancakes is a maniac, so when we can't walk we need to get her exercise somehow) take place in our too-small living room with things like rope bones. Also, both dogs firmly believe that the thrower must be standing to play correctly, and will not ever bring a toy back to someone seated on the couch. I do not know who taught them these rules, but according to the dogs they are immutable.

How do you handle work clothes? How do you handle work bathroom situations? How would you handle my two duds of dogs?

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