Have you ever thought hard about the personality traits that make you who you are? It's an odd experience. For example, I know that I am an extrovert, and that I do significant amounts of processing-of-life-shit externally. For this, I really appreciate having a husband who is also an extrovert (although less extremely so) (I was going to just put "less extreme" but that makes it sound like he wouldn't skydive if given a chance, whereas I'm a sissy baby) and several close friends and relatives with whom I can do that. (FLAWLESS WRITING.)
I have a friend who has an Aunt Katie. At all family parties Aunt Katie is the one telling a long involved story involving disparate things like mud puddles and the title of a friend's car and baking soda and they all seem to end with, "Well, we'll pray about it and see where things end up!" She is always cheerful but oh my god, the woman has the most insane stories that manage to be totally nutso and really boring at the same time.
After the last party where we saw Aunt Katie, I asked Andy flat-out if I'm actually just like her. He paused for a minute, then told me, "Your stories aren't boring. And usually they make sense."
Sometimes I get insecure about how much I talk. I'm not one of those ditzy girls who talks through movies or funerals or anything, and I really do ask a lot of questions about people and life and stuff, but I genuinely enjoy sharing parts of my life with the people around me. I also am (apparently) approachable, as I would say way more than half of my conversations with strangers are started by the stranger. But I still occasionally worry about if I'm coming across as overbearing or a know-it-all or just OH MY GOD RACHAEL SHUT UP ALREADY.
A few weeks ago I asked Andy, on our way to bed after a party (possibly while in a slightly blurry state of mind) if I talked too much. He reminded me that my outgoing-ness is part of what makes me who I am, and he had married me because of who I am. So, really, in retrospect it was sort of a non-answer, but damn, that night I felt reassured. I wonder sometimes about what it would be like to be an introvert, but I try to remember that I don't need to do any weird personality experiments to try to make myself one or anything.
Damn, this post was sort of boring. Sorry about that. A teaser for tomorrow: A list of weird shit I have been googling lately.