Friday, April 22, 2011

Baby names

Instead of the post I had planned to write about having guests for a holiday, here are a list of actual honest-to-God baby names from my city and the surrounding areas, as published in the local newspaper:

First names:
Nailuj (which, naturally, is Julian spelled backwards)
Reign
Eian
Premiere (SERIOUSLY?)
Junior (SERIOUSLY?)
Caneron (Maybe this is a typo on the newspaper's part? I hope?)
Josselin
Bless
Major
Giovanthony
Maxwail
Maizen
Lai'La
Gracie (because apparently she'll never be a professional business-type person)
Miley (I think it's typically not a good idea to use someone else's family-nickname-then-stage-name as a legal name for a child)


Double whammies (first-middle combos)
Malazha Renae-Anne
Jayleana Royanne
Aviana Anii
Serenity Briquelle (Serenity isn't too unusual, but Briquelle?)
Seona DeNice
Ashantis Cristal
Casmeire Tiwayne

I swear to you that I transcribed all of these faithfully.

5 comments:

  1. Giovanthony. Seriously? The worst compromise I have ever seen.

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  2. Further evidence that the best and WORST of people's creativity comes out when they start naming things. Naming a boat something stupid is one thing. Naming a CHILD something stupid-- that's just bad karma.

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  3. If you ever feel like judging strangers really hard, find a baby-naming message board.

    My rule of thumb is that any name I give a child would have to be appropriate for a professional name. Like, would my potential son be able to introduce himself as Casmeire, the tax attorney? Or my daughter, Gracie, the Vice President of Sales?

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  4. Not to mention possible married names. So you name your child Major Smith. Okay. What if Major grows up and falls in love with Tom Wedgie?

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  5. HA! Major Wedgie. Possible name for my next pet.

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