Thursday, July 7, 2011

Public Service Announcment

Disclaimer: I am about to talk about pee a lot. (If any dudes read this, which I sort of think is unlikely, I'm also going to mention menstruation! You're welcome!)

I had a minor freak-out this morning when I got up to pee: My pee was pink. At first I thought I had started my period a few days early and with no other warning signs, but upon further investigation realized this wasn't the case. I thought about it for a moment, but I'm not at my best in the morning, so I just sort of figured Andy had done something weird like flush something reddish before he left for work. I went on about my day and managed, because I am a scatterbrain, to completely forget about it.

Mid-morning, I peed at work, and the pee was RED. I suddenly remembered that this was the second time today, and no joke, I started to sweat. I felt fine, I wasn't in any way unwell, but I was apparently peeing blood! Or something!

I started taking a mental inventory of all the things that have been going into and coming out of my body in the last few days, searching for possible culprits. I've been eating a lot of salad, and I had a shitload of cherries in the last few days, but half of those were golden cherries anyway so that wouldn't be it, and I had a bunch of black raspberries, and I ATE A SHITTON OF BEETS. BEETS THAT WERE SO RED THEY WERE ALMOST PURPLE.

I walked back to my desk quicker than is normal, and immediately googled "can beets turn urine red?". It turns out this is a fairly common thing, because before I had gotten to the letter "r" in "turn," google had auto-completed the sentence. The answer, according to the Mayo Clinic, is yes. In about 14% of people, beets can turn your urine red. I am not dying of some bizarre painless bladder infection. Yet.

So. Here is my public service announcement: Beets can turn your pee red, and you probably aren't dying of a bizarre painless bladder infection. Probably.


  1. Yikes! I totally would have had a panic attack. When I was seven I called my mom to the toilet because I thought I had started my period. Turns out beets can also turn your poop very red. Oh, and also, that's not where the menses happen. FYI.

  2. That would have totally freaked me out. It's great when Google makes you feel that you're not alone.

  3. I was seriously so relieved. I just really hope no one was monitoring my internet usage at work right then - the status of my urine is more than I want the IT department to know about me.