In what might become a regular feature on this site: Actual baby names from my city in the last few months. (Please note that I do not choose names that are more obviously ethnic - like you'll never see me be like "haha samir is such a dumb name!" just because it's not a mainstream American name. Please follow that guideline in your comments.
-Matteson (middle name is a dude's name, so I'm guessing they're just really into the last-name-as-first-name trend and didn't bother to say it out loud: This is Madison spelled stupider)
-Ni'Vaya (Nevaeh - "heaven" backwards - spelled stupider)
-Chole (do you think they misspelled Chloe?)
-Kloey (I know they misspelled Chloe)
-Jahsi're (the apostrophe is stupid, and even stupider in the middle of a syllable)
-E'lenai Azriel (Azrael is the angel of death, but spelled stupider)
-Cali Fiona (Cali is not a full name and these two together do not flow at all)
-Adleigh Clementine (WE'RE HIP, YOU GUYS)
-Callahan Alexander (this is the name of someone the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air would pick on)
-Mariabella Teriana (so many syllables!)
TRIPPLE WHAMMY: Reign Supreme Tarez
-Veronica Nella and Victoria Svitlane
-Diandra Rosemarry and Diandre Andrew (Do you think they'll pronounce it "Rose-Maury"?)
-"Aiden" and its cohorts: Zaiden, Jaeden, Baden, Jadian, Brayden, Brayden (yes, two of them), Jaedyn, Aiden, Ayden.
-Last names as first names: Matteson, Cameron, Landon, Jackson, Camden, Clayton, Mason, Parker, Colton, Callahan, Carson, Preston, Addison, Greyson, Marley, Ashton.