On cats

I recently took care of my parents' two cats while they were out of town squeezing their new granddaughter. And I just want to say, I don't really get cats.

I'm not a dog-lover. Don't get me wrong, this isn't one of those "Cats are so aloof!" posts. No. This is a post about pee.

Because I want to say to every single cat-owner out there: Yes, your house does smell a little like cat pee. Yes. I know you don't think it does. But it does.

Thankfully, my parents hide their cat box way in the back of the basement, so no guests ever have a reason to go there, plus the cats are incredibly well trained and only use the box, but I've had to scoop that box this week, so DAMN. THAT'S GROSS.

The problem, I think, is mostly in cat litter. We had a cat - actually, I insisted we get a cat - when I was a kid, and in all the years and all the different litters we used, there was not a single brand of litter that in fact kept the cat pee clumps from breaking apart and mixing themselves back in with the otherwise-not-stinky litter. And what the hell are you supposed to do with the pee clumps along the sides of the box? Those things are never coming out neatly. Ugh. And I think cat owners are used to thinking that better litter means good litter instead of yeah, it still breaks up but not as bad as that last brand.

Yeah, picking up dog poop is gross too. But at least that's outside, and the pee doesn't make my eyes water. I have known precisely one home that had cats and didn't smell like pee. The owners have SIX CATS (which is nuts in and of itself) and have a morning and afternoon chore routine that takes upwards of forty minutes that includes scooping each box twice a day (more if it needs it) and changing all of the litter in the house once a week (or more if it needs it). And I'm willing to bet on eighty-four-degree days like today, some rooms in their house are not particularly sweet-smelling.

Okay, go ahead with the hate comments: are you a cat lover? Am I totally wrong here?