Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Well, the baby had a visit

with her grandma on Friday.

And Friday night she was really squirmy. Like she was when she was infected. I made Andy come in from another room to confirm it.

Saturday morning we saw telltale spots.

On Sunday we noted that they were worse. And the poor kid was off all weekend - in a cheerful mood then suddenly inconsolable. We tried to tell ourselves maybe she was teething, but the fussiness is the only sign of that, and it matches how she was when she was infected.

Yesterday I took the day off to take her to the doctor. The dermatologist who finally diagnosed her correctly told me he wanted her to be seen by his facility (even though I only trust him there) if she was symptomatic again, so I called them and got the run-around for three hours, and then when I was sort of a pushy bitch (which I HATE doing) they fit us in in the afternoon. With one of the doctors who misdiagnosed her.

Guess what she said.

It's not the skin condition. Even though it looks the same as it did the last three times. Even though Dr. Idiot agreed that it was the skin condition the first time, when it looked just like this. Even though it cleared up immediately after using the prescription all three times (Dr. Idiot: Oh, the cream's a moisturizer. Me, incredulous: I lotion the child twice a day. Dr. Idiot: Oh, okay. [long pause]). When pressed for some sort of diagnosis, she said maybe it's related to the baby's eczema. Which we have almost completely eradicated. And even though it only shows up immediately after a visit. The worker attended the visit with me, and agrees that the doctor is incompetent, but doesn't know what we can do because they are just about the only dermatologists in our county who take Medicaid.

So we didn't get treated, and naturally the baby is miserable. My plan is to wait until Andy and I are showing symptoms and then insist on being seen by the doctor who diagnosed her, or to just say "fuck it" and take the baby to our doctor and pay out of pocket for her. Because this is ridiculous. (I'm really grateful to be able to work from home for a few days while this is getting sorted out, because I'm not infecting the other kids at the baby's daycare on Dr. Idiot's word.)

Oh, and the worker told me that the grandma's planning to file for custody. It's really unlikely that she'll be successful, since the county isn't even trying to place the kid there at all right now, but still. Did we really need another complication here? Christ.

I'm fucking discouraged right now, you guys. I just want to help this baby, who I love like my own, and the goddamn red tape is making that really fucking hard.

P.S. I was going to go through and hyperlink to all the shit about her appointments and misdiagnoses and shit, but I'm fucking tired from trying to work from home while holding an uncomfortable baby who also wanted to help me type. So, you know, check the archives (try the "gross gross gross" tag) and sorry I'm not bothering.


  1. Oh, ugh, this poor baby needs to STOP GETTING INFECTED! IT'S NOT THAT HARD! I know you know that. I'm so sorry you're still having to deal with this, though the worker's awareness seems like a hugely good sign for the long-term planning. And if you're hoping to adopt, it's better for grandma to try now and be turned down than have her make a complaint at the TPR trial and have that process grind to a halt because she didn't get assessed properly or something. But whatever happens, the process will either be excruciatingly long or unreasonably fast, as far as I can tell. Foster care is all about extremes with decisions and uncertainty on the foster parents' side.

  2. Keep trying to come up with something good to say, but this is what I can give: BOO dumb people, sympathies to you and that poor kid! The universe owes you one.

  3. Yeah, Thorn, we've heard from the worker that the mom has decided she wants to get the baby back instead of the baby going to the grandma, and I'm hoping she doesn't bother telling the court that, so they can get the grandma situation sorted out and determine she's not in a place to take an infant right now. (The mom getting the baby back herself is almost a funny joke at this point, because of her lack of involvement.)

    I don't know what the cessation of visits will mean for us doing this "family teaming" thing with the grandma. I'm sure not meeting up with her and letting her hold the baby until I know she's been treated and had her home treated and had it done right.