Our doctor suggested we try a new formula for the baby, since she was still spitting up after almost every bottle and because her poop was ... not pleasant. (She got poop in her own armpit on Easter.)
My reactions to the new formula, in order:
1. HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN this shit is expensive. So glad the county pays for it.
2. Oh, hey, it's white instead of tan. Maybe I won't have to spray the living hell out of the neckline of everything the baby's ever worn now, because she eats so enthusiastically she drools out the sides of her mouth.
3. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DOES IT SMELL EVEN WORSE THAN THE OLD STUFF. (If you haven't smelled baby formula lately, I am very seriously jealous. Shit's nasty.)
4. What? Why the hell is the second ingredient corn syrup solids? How the fuck is that a good thing to be giving to a baby in large quantities? THANKS, AMERICA. (And no, the county doesn't cover the similar-but-not-corn-syrup-laden other kind.)
Also, our county gives us the option of getting the powdered formula or the concentrated kind in cans, which is amazing and if I ever have a child I'm responsible for feeding and breastfeeding isn't an option, I'll sell a kidney before going back to the powder. Anyway, my grocery store only keeps, like, six cans of this new shit in stock, but with WIC you have to use the whole check (which for us is 12 cans) in one go, or you lose the rest of it. So we had to drive around to four different grocery stores to find one that stocked enough of this for us to use a full check. That was a nice way to spend several hours.
However. The baby is spitting up WAY less, almost down to none, and her poop stinks way more but is at least staying where poop is supposed to go. Because this is my blog and I can talk about how the baby's poop smells if I want.
Speaking of which: I am holding her while she is napping, and she just pooped in her sleep. I don't want to wake her up to change her, but it's seriously making my eyes water. My life is not exactly what I envisioned it would be, is what I'm saying here.