Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Unpopular opinion: I don't like Target.

That's right, I said it.

Oh, sure, I'll happily stroll through the store and usually find something on clearance to snap up. And sure, they do interesting things with fancy-ass designers and stuff.

But I really mostly think they suck.

It started four years ago when we got married and registered there. There was some glitch in the system that made it look like several items were still available on the registry after someone had purchased them and faithfully toted that terrible printout to the register and had it scanned and everything. So we ended up with multiples of things, and they wouldn't let us return some of them without gift receipts, even when they were clearly items we had registered for, and even for store credit or THE SAME GODDAMN ITEM IN ANOTHER COLOR, even when they were items that are only sold at Target. So, fuck you, Target, for the eight bath towels in the same color in my linen closet.

Another strike against them is their horrifically bad website. I would assert that Target has the worst fucking website of any major corporation out there. K-Mart has a better website, for god's sake (yes, I checked). Target's site is difficult to navigate; there are bizarre classifications for things; nothing is intuitive; every once in a while I'll discover a dead link and have no idea how to go about locating the item I was looking for. I seriously am bummed when people I love register there, because reading registries on their site is painful. Those horrible hover menus get in my way every three goddamn seconds and since I'm using a netbook they're impossible to get out of because they take the whole screen. Ugh.

Final straw: my local Target has decided to remodel its perfectly workable layout to make things less okay. Shit is now crowded together on the sales floor, so god help you if you're trying to navigate a cart through, say, racks of clothing. Nope, sorry, you're smashing into shit left and right, hope you don't have a sleeping baby in a carseat on your cart. I stopped by yesterday to get some onesies and spent eleven minutes trawling the three racks of infant clothes surrounded by two dozen racks of toddler shit and couldn't find onesies anywhere. I finally found them on an endcap between the bottles and baby food, because of course that's where they were. Right before I checked out, though, I remembered we have a Target gift card I could use, so I put 'em back (in that totally ridiculous location) and went back today.

Guess what? They weren't there. That endcap is now reserved for sippy cups. No onesies anywhere to be seen. And when I asked a worker, she told me that they don't have a place to put all of them, so they pulled them from the floor. And no, no one could just go grab me two packs of them. Sorry.

All I wanted was six fucking long-sleeve onesies in 0-3 month size. Really, this is a pretty basic item for any store with a baby section. But it's a little complicated for Target, because of their total dedication to sucking at customer service. Looks like that $20 is going to Wal-Mart so they can trample some more workers' rights, because fuck you, Target, I'm not going to keep dropping by and hoping you've worked out how to be a functioning business.

Tell me I'm not alone in this. I can't be the only one they've ever irritated, right?


  1. Lol...I am not a huge fan either. :)

  2. THANK YOU!!!! Trying to navigate their registry online is what made me realize how much their website stinks. And everyone acts like I'm crazy when I tell them this! Popular opninion is that Target can do no wrong.

    --Also, love the Andy Rooney's voice tag!

  3. I'm so glad it's not just me. Everyone I know capital-L Loves Target, but they just get under my skin. (And I really do occasionally think in Andy Rooney's voice, which makes me giggle, which makes people stare.)

  4. I am torn. I love Target's STUFF, but I do find it much easier to browse around and bask in its not-Wal-Mart glow rather than going in there with a mission, because yeah. It's hard to find stuff there. And their return policy is pretty much a huge "screw you" to their customers.

  5. And holy COW you are fostering an infant. That is hard core, and you deserve many, many blessings. Am going to cross fingers that this baby ends up with the best family/situation she can get, whatever that is.

  6. Nem, yeah, I love to wander the store, but God help you if you walk in there with a plan and are in a hurry. And thanks for the good thoughts for this baby - she needs them! (Right now she's hanging out in my lap kicking her feet, which I will assume means "thank you".)