Tuesday, April 2, 2013

If you pray

...would you please direct some prayers towards friends of ours who are foster parents?

They accepted a new foster placement last night: newborn twin boys.

Then this afternoon, one of the twins died of SIDS while he was napping in the same room where the rest of the family was hanging out. The county has placed the surviving twin in another foster home at the request of the bio-family (the county does not suspect that our friends did anything wrong; this is just to simplify the situation).

Obviously our friends are devastated and I have no words to express how incredibly awful this must be. If you believe in a god, please ask him or her to be with our friends. If you don't, maybe just send them some healing thoughts.

Fuck, man.


  1. That is just the most heartbreaking thing. I can't even imagine what they must be going through, and I will definitely send prayers their way.

    I also had something I wanted to pass on to you since I don't have an email address to write you privately. But my sister and I were talking about people who we know who are foster parents (and how hard core they are) and she said that friends of hers were trying to adopt the baby they had been fostering and things just sort of languished until they got a lawyer. Obviously, I know nothing about this and could be talking completely out my ear. But she said that, in THIS family's experience, they found that the court system was so overworked that, even if the judge/workers/everyone knew they would not be returning the child to the biological family, there was no real rush to make things official with the foster parent and they just kept scheduling new court dates for down the road because there were other, more urgent situations with other families/kids that took precedence. A lawyer was what they felt got things fast-tracked.

    Again, I do not know what I am talking about at ALL. I just wanted to pass the info along in case it might be at all helpful in your situation. I admire you so much and think your (naughty, precocious) girl is so lucky to have spent the first year of her life with you!

  2. Hi Nem,

    Thanks for your thoughts for our friends. And thanks also for thinking of me with regards to the lawyer stuff. So far our worker assures us that M's case is likely to be one that's resolved on the quicker end of the spectrum, as she's quite young and the cases of younger kids take priority. We'll see how that actually pans out, but we aren't quite at a point where a lawyer would be able to do anything, since her parents still have rights to see her and we have no legal claim to her. I will definitely email you for more info if we get closer to that point though!