What's your deal, Wednesday?

Today did its best to bring me down, y'all. It started 45 minutes earlier than it needed to, with a baby who was super mad at me because I can't make teething any easier and who would NOT go back to sleep. That threw off my morning pretty hard (Andy's too, since I needed him to corral her while I was in the shower instead of leaving while she was still asleep like he usually does). We were out of breakfast foods, so I stopped for an apple fritter, which made my stomach mad, which is bullshit because I'm a grown-ass woman and will eat a fritter for breakfast if I WANT. The coffee machine at my job ate my coffee money. The worker didn't call to tell me if there was a visit, which usually means there isn't, so when the daycare called to say Medical Motors had showed up I told them not to send her. Oh, but hey, there was a mix-up with the worker being in court and our usual clerk out, so the backup clerk called daycare and was snippy about YES THERE WAS A VISIT, so I called and then she was rude to me too.

Also, there was a big customer meeting at work all day, and my old biddy coworkers love any excuse to get excited, so there was a lot of noise in general, followed by the customers being given a tour through the office, including the usually-silent area in which I was trying to work. This isn't a huge deal, but it's a low level of constant annoyance.

Oh, and I'm fighting the cold that the baby brought home from daycare, which is putting a cramp in Operation Get Me Pregnant Again.

Andy knew I was trying to figure out a way to punch today in its face, so he stopped on the way home and got me flowers and a harvest pumpkin chocolate chunk cake (which is the best cake ever, duh). Then we left for our WIC appointment and while we were gone Pancakes somehow got on the kitchen table (climbed the high chair, maybe?) and ATE MY CAKE.

So when we got home, I gave the baby her bath and Andy went to Wegmans and got me another cake. No joke. And we just had a piece and watched an episode of Parks and Recreation, and we're going to bed early. I'm calling a do-over and starting again in the morning.

This post was a hell of a downer, right? Sorry about that. Here's some awesome news: My sister is having a girl! I'm going to have a third niece! I've been pushing hard for this one to have Rachael for a middle name too.

Baby names

Fact: "awkward baby names" is the most common search that brings people to this blog (I just tried it, and somehow I'm the first three links). I'm guessing they mean names like "Drew Peacock" or "Ima Hogg" or whatever instead of just the dumb stuff people in my city name their kids, but hey, it's my blog. So, here's a fresh batch:

- O'neil as a first name
- Si'ryii (pronounced Siri, at a guess. Maybe they're Apple fans)
- Dino as a first name
- J'dyn
- Merve
- J'Anna
- Madisyn
- Madelynne (why?? She will never not have to spell this out for people.)
- Quanta'z
- Ahlaea (again with the spelling)

Andy and I officially laid claim to a family name when we were visiting cousins last week. Turns out most of my cousins thought we were weird for considering it. The name is my grandma's maiden name, and we're thinking of some way to combine it with Andy's grandma's maiden name. I'll let you know if and when we do anything with that.

Baby names

This week I ripped the baby name section from the paper and left it on the table for perusal at my leisure. Andy picked it up and had a lot of fun reading some of the names to me. The best part is that Andy's dyslexic, so some of them ended up even more bizarre than they were on the birth certificate. He also walked around chanting "bry-ny-sha-ha!" for about twenty minutes. Fun.

- A'naiya Charvae
- Hiram Junior [Last Name] III (Junior is his middle name, and he's a third)
- Seratice
- Raihne (Rain? Ra-heene?)
- Yazir Ackylles-Malik (The middle one there is Achilles)
- Zero [Last Name] (Andy actually really liked that)
- Pipper (Combining Piper and Pippa [which is itself a nickname for Philippa]?)
- Lajha'Lyece
- Luv Faith
- Harmonni Deziree
- Mi'Kel
- Mykel (Really, is "Michael" that complicated?)
- Brynayshah Jamiyah Bryonna
- Jah'Mere Camr'yon (How the hell is that middle name pronounced? Like Cameron? Ugh.)
- Karizma
- Mattingly Sky (You better hope she grows up to be a baseball fan.)
- Jorddy
- Jetson David
- Emmaleigh (Emily was too pedestrian?)
- K'nevaeh (WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE)
- Sevin
- Fenix (Phoenix was too hard to spell?)
- G'Marceo
- James'Michael (WHAT)
- Regmyr "OB" JaQuez (How does he already have a nickname??)
- Isra'il S'amir (THE FUCK? Israel and Samir are perfectly reasonable names.)
- Jurney Nevaeh
- Twins: Kay'Monnie Ja'Siayah-Mon'Nay and Kar'Marrie Jo'Siayah-Carl'Edward (Two different people thought it was reasonable to combine full, normal names by just jamming an apostrophe in there. NOT OKAY)
- Dynasty Bonita

Lots of winners this week!

Baby names

Here we go!

- Cai LaNoi
- Londyn Ny'Drea
- Tessura'e
- Rockie Marie
- Jha'Khi Z'ymire Westly (I could maybe understand Zy'mire. Maybe.)
- Summer Mae Kommer (I rarely print last names, but this is crazy)
- Santana Blade'z
- Graesen (Of all the ways to spell that name, this one is the worst)
- Skylee
- Paetyn (see comment for Graesen)
- Tim'mel
- Addilyn (It just makes me think "addled".)
- Twins named Hudson Dean and Leif Magnus. What?
- Adonis (I just like picturing a really geeky, insecure band kid named Adonis.)
- Twins named Stephan and Stephanie
- Brownlie Avrah
- Jae'ana Ajanae (Her entire name is three letters and an apostrophe.)
- Aryan (How do you not know - or care - about this one's connotation?)
- Sephora
- Samon (I really hope they mean Simone and not Salmon)
- Zayne Eryck

It is going to be so, so hard not to share the name of the kid we end up with. We're either going to get a kid with a name like Zayne Eryck up there, or a kid with a name I just plain am not interested in. I've never really considered any of the names on a top-50 list for any child I get to name, so you know I'm going to end up with a Bella and a Jayden. Ugh.

I'm a judgmental jerk, by the way.

Baby names

A new installment of weird or awful baby names from my city, in plain old list form, because I'm freaking beat and all I want to do is take my pants off and watch Home Alone:

- Kyzen Claron
- Tyhr'eanna (I swear to you this is how it's spelled in the paper. Tyranny-a?)
- Jisaiah
- Kai'Lanei Nicholle
- Car'tysia Rachelle Sy'Vehya (why capitalize the mid-name V but not the T?)
- Ra'Shell Lamajah
- Noah Guillaume [Polish Last Name] (I just think that combination of names sounds jarring)
- Sin'Cere
- Ehlise (maybe trying to show it's a short-E sound? Still weird.)
- Kristina Kemilah Kennedy [Last Name]. THEY GAVE THEIR DAUGHTER THE INITIALS "KKK."
- Admyer ZaKyle
- Lahyla (how the hell is that pronounced? Are they being creative with Layla? Or maybe Lyla?)

Interesting fact: "baby names" is the most frequent search term that gets people to this blog.

Am I being too harsh? Any of those names seem normal to you?

Baby names

More baby name ridiculousness from my fair city! As always, I swear to you that I typed all of these exactly as they appear in the paper.

First names:
-Legacy
-Jyi'Sier
-Quintieus
-Giavana (What, Giovanna was too complicated?)
-Kennedi
-Ma'Kiih
-AriaMari
-Skylynn
-Jaxon (This is a name the kid will have to spell every day of his life.)

First-middle combos:
-G'Nyiah Lee Da'vhinne (Good money says they pronounce that last part "divine.")
-Krystafer Jewellz (WHAT)
-Xena Rayn
-Lilly Love U (NOT KIDDING)
-Destinee Sincerity
-Q'Zay Aresineo (This kid is actually a junior. Wow.)
-Mya Doris (We're hip! Her middle name is Doris!)
-Jamarria Trinytti

"Aiden" and variations: Brayden, Aidan, Caiden, Hayden, Aiden, Aiden (two of them in a row!), Zayden, Kayden, Caydan.

Sometimes I text these names to my sister, which means my phone stores them in its memory. Nothing is more surprising than mistyping a word and having my phone suggest "Dezyre" as a good option.

Baby names

In what might become a regular feature on this site: Actual baby names from my city in the last few months. (Please note that I do not choose names that are more obviously ethnic - like you'll never see me be like "haha samir is such a dumb name!" just because it's not a mainstream American name. Please follow that guideline in your comments.

First names:
-Matteson (middle name is a dude's name, so I'm guessing they're just really into the last-name-as-first-name trend and didn't bother to say it out loud: This is Madison spelled stupider)
-Ni'Vaya (Nevaeh - "heaven" backwards - spelled stupider)
-Zaiden
-Dezyre
-Emilee
-Ellyson
-Kai-Lin
-Kyler
 -Chole (do you think they misspelled Chloe?)
 -Kloey (I know they misspelled Chloe)
-Jahsi're (the apostrophe is stupid, and even stupider in the middle of a syllable)

First-middle combos:
-E'lenai Azriel (Azrael is the angel of death, but spelled stupider)
-Cali Fiona (Cali is not a full name and these two together do not flow at all)
-Adleigh Clementine (WE'RE HIP, YOU GUYS)
-Samiah Karmella
-Callahan Alexander (this is the name of someone the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air would pick on)
-Christeona Nylean
-Cordai Ladarius
-Mariabella Teriana (so many syllables!)
-Mary Sunshine
-Blaze Temperance

TRIPPLE WHAMMY: Reign Supreme Tarez 

Twins:
-Veronica Nella and Victoria Svitlane
-Diandra Rosemarry and Diandre Andrew (Do you think they'll pronounce it "Rose-Maury"?)

-"Aiden" and its cohorts: Zaiden, Jaeden, Baden, Jadian, Brayden, Brayden (yes, two of them), Jaedyn, Aiden, Ayden.
-Last names as first names: Matteson, Cameron, Landon, Jackson, Camden, Clayton, Mason, Parker, Colton, Callahan, Carson, Preston, Addison, Greyson, Marley, Ashton.

Thoughts?