On Man vs. Wild

From the website where I found that picture: "Who can indulge himself  in danger and eat variety raw meat for sake of enjoyment or pleasure?  Bear Grylls has dare to do so. Here are some of his incredible weirdest eating."

You guys ever watch this show? Now that we have the Netflix, Andy and I watch this crap all the damn time. It's amazing. I know that it's staged and that Bear Grylls, the star/host/whatever, does all sorts of crazy shit that is the opposite of what one should do, and I definitely feel like puking during almost every episode, but I still am secretly happy any time Andy suggests we watch it.

Basically, if you're unfamiliar, this dude, whose name is Bear for some reason, parachutes into dangerous areas. In theory, he shows you how to survive so you can make it out or be rescued, but every episode he's all, "Usually, you would want to stay out of the frigid white-water rapids and try to find another way around, but I'm going to show you what would happen if you tried to make a raft out of some twigs and then floated downstream."

Apparently Grylls is also on his own for finding food, because he eats things that no human should eat, like part of a zebra he found, or a live scorpion. It works out okay to watch the show in the evening, because there is no way I can snack while I'm watching it if I don't want to hurl. I actually thought I really was going to barf during one episode when he bit the head off a snake, pulled the spine and guts out, and then ate the rest of it. Sick.

Ever watch this show? Tell me I'm not alone!

True Life episodes in which I could star

True Life: My Husband Gets Annoyed When I Don't Wear Pants But Leave the Blinds Open
True Life: I'm a Middle Child 
True Life: I'm Not Very Good At Loading the Dishwasher

True Life: I Have a Boring Job But It's Okay, I Guess
True Life: I Pay a Mortgage
True Life: I Am a Female Who Typically Prefers Beer to Wine, As Long As It's Not an IPA
True Life: I'm More Than a Foot Shorter Than My Husband
True Life: I Read Really Fast, But Not Like Speedreaders Or Whatever
True Life: I'm In a Really Happy Marriage
True Life: I Could Stand To Lose Some Weight, But Come On, Who Couldn't?
True Life: I Use My Local Library So Much, I Have My Card Number Memorized
True Life: I Really Like Christmas Movies
True Life: My Dog Keeps Sniffing the Same Spot on the Garage Floor In A Way That Makes Me Suspicious
True Life: I Watched Six Episodes of 30 Rock Online Today


Pretty much just waiting for the call to make one or all of these.

What True Life episodes could you star in?

P.S. Just read the Wikipedia page for this show, and it turns out pretty much any of these could legitimately be a topic. How strange.