Being pregnant is weird.

I'm almost 34 weeks pregnant now. I'm getting big enough that I'm often uncomfortable and rolling over in bed is now a three-point turn. Or a five-point turn.

I'm short (5'1) so my abdomen is completely full of baby. It's hard to take a full breath, it's hard to sit comfortably, it's impossible to eat a full meal. Getting settled on the couch is an ordeal that often leaves me out of breath. My back and hips are usually at least somewhat sore, so I occasionally do that delightful pregnant lady waddle, particularly right after I get up and start walking. My belly is so big that it pushes any bra I wear right up into my ribcage, guaranteeing discomfort by 10:00 a.m. I was trying on bras at Target the other day (note: all nursing bras are fucking ugly) and caught sight of myself in the mirror and couldn't stop picturing a gorilla, with the way my boobs now rest directly on my giant belly.

It's really, really weird how totally normal and, simultaneously, how completely fucked up it feels to be pregnant. The baby rolls around and kicks my guts and gets the hiccups and I'm so totally used to it, but it also regularly blows my mind that there's a human being living in my abdomen. I've been pregnant, with one short break, for almost a year, so it's really hard to imagine our life with a newborn instead of life with me just pregnant forever.

We've been taking our childbirth classes at the hospital where I'll deliver, and I asked a good friend who's a labor and delivery nurse for a recommendation for a doula. After discussion with her, I'm calling tomorrow to look into switching from my regular obstetrician to a midwife practice nearby. My pregnancy is low-risk, and they offer many of the same services that a doula would, except they're covered by insurance. Really, my main reason for wanting a doula was to have someone there throughout the labor to support Andy in supporting me, but we think we could be okay with the support of a midwife instead. So we'll see how that goes.

We just watched the movie Seven Psycopaths and it was so nuts that it took the length of the whole freaking movie for me to finish writing this. Have you all seen that shit??