Friday, May 24, 2013

Nothing new.

Dudes, I have been too tired to remember to blog. Also, because we've been keeping the house super clean, my computer has been actually put away, and getting it out and turning it on seems pretty complicated some nights.

I'm 36 and a half weeks along now, and feeling kind of huge and very tired. I had an appointment with my midwife today wirh my first internal exam, where she stuck her hand up in my bizzzz to find out if my cervix is up to anything. Turns out I'm one centimeter dilated and about 50% effaced. For those of you playing along at home, this means exactly nothing about when or how I'll go into labor. It does indicate that my cervix knows something is going on and that it plans to get involved, which is good news. The baby is also sitting much lower, which means she  occasionally headbutts my cervix, resulting in a phenomenon I like to call Vagina Lightning. FUN.

M's case is exactly where it was last time I blogged. They still haven't even started the terminaton paperwork. Oh, the worker did finally confirm that the dad's girlfriend
is pregnant. Apparently she was due this week with a little girl. And the worker saw the dad's house and said there was no crib, despite the dad telling us at court in  February that he had a room all set up for M with a four-hundred-dollar crib* and all. So it looks like he's not planning on this new kid living there? Who knows.

So things are moving along slowly all over, and this has been a boring and perfunctory blog post typed from my phone. To be frank, I'm not even going to bother correcting typos and shit. Sorry.

If I can be bothered to get my shit together, I'm planning to do a post about pregnancy products and my hopes for nursery space for the new kid, if we ever find a new house.

*No, I don't believe this, but also I really, really don't care. Her crib at our house is from Wal-Mart. When we get a crib for the new baby (she'll be in a bassinet in our room at first, plus with moving we didn't want to keep extra furniture on hand), it will likely be the same one. I just feel kind of uncomfortable with the dad trying to impress us with shit like that.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Being pregnant is weird.

I'm almost 34 weeks pregnant now. I'm getting big enough that I'm often uncomfortable and rolling over in bed is now a three-point turn. Or a five-point turn.

I'm short (5'1) so my abdomen is completely full of baby. It's hard to take a full breath, it's hard to sit comfortably, it's impossible to eat a full meal. Getting settled on the couch is an ordeal that often leaves me out of breath. My back and hips are usually at least somewhat sore, so I occasionally do that delightful pregnant lady waddle, particularly right after I get up and start walking. My belly is so big that it pushes any bra I wear right up into my ribcage, guaranteeing discomfort by 10:00 a.m. I was trying on bras at Target the other day (note: all nursing bras are fucking ugly) and caught sight of myself in the mirror and couldn't stop picturing a gorilla, with the way my boobs now rest directly on my giant belly.

It's really, really weird how totally normal and, simultaneously, how completely fucked up it feels to be pregnant. The baby rolls around and kicks my guts and gets the hiccups and I'm so totally used to it, but it also regularly blows my mind that there's a human being living in my abdomen. I've been pregnant, with one short break, for almost a year, so it's really hard to imagine our life with a newborn instead of life with me just pregnant forever.

We've been taking our childbirth classes at the hospital where I'll deliver, and I asked a good friend who's a labor and delivery nurse for a recommendation for a doula. After discussion with her, I'm calling tomorrow to look into switching from my regular obstetrician to a midwife practice nearby. My pregnancy is low-risk, and they offer many of the same services that a doula would, except they're covered by insurance. Really, my main reason for wanting a doula was to have someone there throughout the labor to support Andy in supporting me, but we think we could be okay with the support of a midwife instead. So we'll see how that goes.

We just watched the movie Seven Psycopaths and it was so nuts that it took the length of the whole freaking movie for me to finish writing this. Have you all seen that shit??